America's shittier doctor!

Wow, I'm sure glad I held off on (couldn't be bothered to) write about shitty doctor, Lee Vliet's latest xenophobic screegasm.

Hot on the heels of her hit single "ILLEGAL IMMIGRANT BLACK DEATH BOMB!" she released "ILLEGAL IMMIGRANT EBOLA HANTAVIRUS CHICKEN POX LICE MURDER DEATH!"

Ebola. Chikungunya. Dengue. Norovirus. Hantavirus. Swine flu. Varicella. Variola. The names sound like something out of a Sci-Fi movie. Yet, threats to Americans are real, and escalating by the week. The Department of Homeland Security (DHS) reported on August 1 that serious diseases are spreading at detention centers for Illegal border crossers. Health care workers and Border Patrol agents, plus their children, have tested positive for tuberculosis (TB), swine flu, chicken pox, lice and scabies. Instead of being quarantined, illegal border crossers are being dispersed rapidly across the U.S., with those of school age being registered in public schools opening soon for all.

If you're wondering why she's blaming illegal immigrants for things like hanta virus, chicken pox and lice, I did say she's America's Shittiest Doctor, and a regular source of wingnut sausage. Go search Vliet Ebola Illegal and see who has picked up this story, go on, I'll wait.

But it turns out, she isn't alone. Meet Jane Orient, M.D., another member of AAPS. She sees people suffering horrible deaths half-way around the globe and being familiar with the healing arts, asks herself:

Ebola: False Alarm, or the Poor Man's Atomic Bomb?

Because she sucks. I'm sure if you search Orient Ebola Atomic, you'll find lots of the usual rejects parroting this shit. But I'm going to award her the Grand Prix Shit Quack from Hell (this week) for this from her list of action items:

Enable use of non-approved, non-conventional therapy, and prioritize research.

Yes, please don't let us stop you from sounding like the character who got written out of B movie about Nazi zombies for being too over the top or anything, dumb ass.

Speaker John Boehner announces plan to create 100,000 new jobs by 2015

And then he rode off on his hippogriff, suckers. Here's what the No Frivolous Lawsuits party is really up to:

When House Speaker John Boehner announced last month that House Republicans would attempt to sue President Obama for failing to “faithfully execute the laws of our country,” he was vague about which executive actions they found objectionable. On Thursday, a draft resolution authorizing the suit revealed that it will focus on Obama delaying the Affordable Care Act’s employer mandate twice since last summer. “The president changed the healthcare law without a vote of Congress, effectively creating his own law by literally waiving the employer mandate and the penalties for failing to comply with it,” Boehner said.

Lie so you can invade a country and tear it to shit? Greatest president ever.

Change the deadline for enforcement of a law (the ability to do so being part of the law, I believe)? OMG OUTLAW TYRANNY!

The only good thing about this is that beneath the bluster you can hear the high pitched screeee-eeeech of Boner's fingernails as he attempts to keep a grip on his sinecure. Perhaps he is rattled by the fate of his co-mustelid.

Mayhem, Mayfield & More

The story thus far.

Campaign manager allegedly advises a blogger on how to get into a nursing home so he can take a picture of the opponent's wife, who is suffering from Alzheimer's. The blogger posts her picture on his website because this shows the opposition ... I'm not sure what, but I'm not a Republican. Blogger is arrested and charged with exploiting a vulnerable person. Campaign manager is arrested and charged with conspiracy. He kills himself and then:

Mark Mayfield's family plans to sue or bring charges against the city of Madison, its police department or "anyone responsible" after Mayfield's apparent suicide Friday.

Apparently his brother, also an attorney, is the one galloping around yelling "We'll see you in court!" And while I assume they won't sue the guy who pulled the trigger, it wouldn't surprise me, because these people appear to be confused.

Mayfield's relatives, already angered over his arrest in May in the U.S. Sen. Thad Cochran photo scandal, say Madison police were trespassing when they showed up at his home in Ridgeland after he apparently shot himself.

As I so often say when reading about the antics of Republicans "Do what?"

"911, what is your emergency?"
"Oh God, my husband ... I heard a gun shot and ... he's dead!"
"OK ma'am, stay calm. We're sending police -"
"Oh don't do that. I just wanted to tell you he's dead."
"Ma'am?"
"Yes, we'll take it from here. Do you know a good cleaning service?"

That's probably not what happened. Probably. But a lot of people are making straw out of the fact the police showed up after he shot himself.

Apparently the normal process in Mississippi after someone dies from high velocity lead poisoning is no one asks any questions. And here I was thinking that was only the case if a black person was the victim!

There's also a lot of "He was treated like a common criminal!" etc., because how dare the police department arrest a man who is wanted on criminal charges?

Roiks! Ryborgs!

An Oklahoma politician who lost a primary on Tuesday plans to contest the results because he claims his rival is actually dead and is being represented by a body double. In a letter he posted on his website, District 3 congressional candidate Tim Murray wrote that "it is widely known Rep. Frank D. Lucas is no longer alive and has been displayed by a look alike."

Remember when we said things couldn't get weirder than birtherism? This is what happens when we say things can't get weirder:

Murray alleges that Lucas was killed during a 2011 trip to Ukraine when he was hanged by the neck in front of witnesses.

"I, Timothy Ray Murray, am a human, born in Oklahoma, and obtained and continue to fully meet the requirements to serve as U.S. Representative when honored to so," Murray wrote on his site. "I will never use a look alike to replace my (The Office's) message to you or to anyone else, as both the other Republican Challengers have."

So we should say it. A lot. If we play our cards right, the next Republican presidential candidate's concession speech will be a doozy.

Brat gave a clear answer to the minimum wage question

A lot of people have accused David the Fake Baked Bratwurst of not having an answer when Chuck Todd asked the Randolph-Macon econ. professor about the minimum wage. You don't need to read between the lines to see he clearly replied he's another corporate toadlicker who would sell his granny to the soap makers.

Here's the exchange, courtesy of Republicans & NeoCons:

Todd: Where are you on the minimum wage? Do you believe in it and would you raise it?

Brat: Minimum wage, I’m a free market guy. Our labor markets right now are already distorted from too many regulations. I think Cato estimates that 2 trillion dollars of regulatory problems and then throw Obamacare on top of that. The work hours is thirty a week….There’s just distortion after distortion and we wonder why out labor markets are broken.

Todd: Should there be a minimum wage in your opinion?

Brat: Ummm…I, I…I don’t have a well crafted responses on that one. All I know is if you take the long run graph over two hundred years of the wage rate, it can not differ from your nation’s productivity so you can’t make up wage rates, right. I would love to for everyone…in Africa for example. all the children of God to make a hundred dollars an hour, right > I would love just to assert that would be the case, but you can’t assert that unless you raise the productivity and then the wage follows…

Todd: It sounds like you’re making the case against a federally mandated minimum wage.

Brat: I’m just making the case I’ve just made, You can’t artificially make up wage rates, they have to be related to productivity.

Obviously the man replied that he's a mendacious cockscab who thinks the Invisible Hand is tied by too many regulations and Obamacare. He doesn't believe the lazy people who are only working 30 hours a week should get a raise unless they work hard enough to satisfy the Free Market. But he'll throw in something about God's Children Africa because that'll appease the blahs and white guilt liberals and everyone will admire his Can Tan.

I don't know enough U.S. productivity to say where it stands in relation to productivity and wages 200 years ago and whether current productivity supports an increase in the minimum wage, but based on the rest of his answer, I'm going to assume that's a big fucking lie as well.

But what about that 30 hour work week? Here I think this polecat's ass might actually have been trying to be cute. He could have pulled this number out of the place he keeps his emergency bottle of AquaNet, but it is far more likely he's ignoring the fact that many employers are cutting hours to part-time so not only do they they not have to give employees any sort of benefits, but people are forced to get a second part-time job to survive.

I guess one good thing about this win is he'll have less time to spew bullshit over helpless college students at Randolph-Macon. However, I think it would be better if he spent a few months reminding everyone that the Republican Party : Good Governance :: Kinko the Kid Loving Clown is to Mary Poppins and then lost to fellow R-M econ. professor Jack Trammel.

But I'm sorry, I can't stop laughing at the comment about Africa. How many synapses had to misfire to make him mention a continent on the other damn side of the planet in the discussion about the U.S. minimum wage?

The Housewife Economy. Or...

Why everything will be perfect forever once women get back in the kitchen.

Roy Edroso - brave soul he - read the latest and greatest ideas from the Republican notelligentsia and summed them up for people with delicate constitutions.

Like Rove's The Math, these are The Ideas that will cause us to rush to the polls and vote R, only to find some of us can't vote because we didn't have our passport photo taken by a left-handed, one-eyed white supremacist named Lars who lives in a bunker in Idaho like it specifically said on the Voter ID Requirements.

One of the smellier turds in the burning paper bag was this:

Lukas further denounced liberal programs "increasing funding for Head Start and Early Start, and bolstering other government support for child-care centers" because "as the price of institutional child care goes down for the user, the value of the service provided by the stay-at-home parent or grandparent also goes down" -- and how's a kid going to get to know his parents and grandparents unless poverty forces him to?

Yes. Yes of course. And if you lower the price of health care, the Mom Kissing Your Boo-boo Better Market will crash and we'll all wind up living in a corridor.

However, a commenter came back with a fittingly contemptuous and fact laden response that also took on the smelliest turd. See below for that one but the response began: 

Um. Good luck convincing working parents that lower-cost childcare is a bad thing because it makes grandma doing it for free less valuable.

It kicked off an interesting exchange and eventually brought me to the following conclusion, which I modify a tad here: 

Republican economic and social models won't work unless women stay at home.

Work is perhaps a generous word, because nothing they ever come up with works and their conviction that there was some magical era where all women were housewives (or spinsters looking after the Aged Ps) comes straight from TV Land.  (I won't bother going into whether all housewives were happy or if any might have chosen to do something else, given the opportunity.)

But if women are only performing unpaid domestic labor - housework, child care, elder care, it would appear to solve what the libercons see as problems.

For one, they can continue to devalue paid work that is traditionally performed by women - domestic care, child care, teaching, nursing.

"Hey, why the hell should my precious tax dollars go to some teacher when my wife can teach 'em at home?" "No Medicare doesn't need more funds for nursing homes or home health care. Why, my father is comfortable where he is and the girls take good care of him!"

Another: It certainly would open up the job market if women stopped cluttering up the place. Besides your died in the sheep Republican knows that women aren't really suited for the rigours of the workplace.

The delicate lady creature is much better off living the easeful life of the housewife. Keeping a house spotless, cooking three meals a day and bearing and rearing several children until her uterus (or husband) is like, "L8rz!"

And speaking of hubbers, they believe that making women completely reliant on men for their upkeep will do wonders for the social environment, as defined by a marked decrease in UBTBs (Uppity Bitches Talking Back).

Even better, teaching girls not to do anything to anger daddy if they like food will mean no teen sex, which is an invention of the liberal 60s caused by faked moon landings and jazz and did not exist before then. And because she'll be eager to get the hell out of the house, she'll probably marry the first semi-presentable male dad shoves in front of her. Just like the did in the good old days in TV Land.

The smelliest turd - in case you're wondering -

lower the risk associated with hiring long-term unemployed workers" for businesses," said Scholl. How? "By temporarily lowering the minimum wage," she cheerily explained.

 Of course, of course. Say you didn't come up with that idea because it would be easy for corporate lampreys to abuse that set up and workers? No reason, just wondered.

These people are moral sinkholes.