Thursday, July 10, 2014

The Reagan Years and other massive suck holes

I've lived in this area 99% of my life, but I was blissfully ignorant that Baltimore is home to something called The Reagan Years and it is not a house of horrors. Thanks Yelp D.C.!

This band of seasoned musicians recreates the sounds of the 1980s; a day when Ronald Reagan was President, M-TV first aired, CDs emerged, Acid Washed jeans were "Cool" and alternative music was called "New Wave". This period has resurfaced in today's entertainment industry. VH-1 has multiple segments echoing from the 80's Video Generation, radio stations across the U.S. feature artists from the 1980s in daily "flashback" programs while 1980s anthems have permeated TV commercials.

The Reagan Years are the East Coast's premier 1980's tribute band. This seasoned quintet helped pioneer the 80's tribute band concept in 1996 and have become one of the Mid-Atlantic's strongest drawing acts. TRY plays the greatest Pop, Rock, New Wave and Hair Metal hits of the Video Era.
No Clash? No Bad Brains? What about The Jam?

I guess they aren't getting much play on the nostalgo-pop playlist. Perhaps because the nostalgo-pop playlist is tested approved by the sort of dicks who voted for Reagan and the band members are blissfully unaware of the fact that The Reagan Years sucked for a lot of people and the mention of that name causes dry heaves is sane human beings.

And if you think "These songs are being used to sell antacids and cars!" is a draw, something is amiss. We get it, this music is safe and clean and won't cause your kids to do drugs or stick safety pins through their noses. But shut up.

If you go to their website (go on, don't let me stop you) you'll see they insist they aren't a cover band.

Hahahahah hahaha. Whatever.

It was always my understanding that a tribute band is dedicated to one artist, so I don't know who they're trying to fool or why. But I guess if you're going to name your band after the person who claimed ketchup is a vegetable then it makes sense to call your cover band a tribute band. 

And to top it off, they're appearing at Union Jacks, a restaurant that exists to goad British people to re-invade. Or punch an American.  

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