For-profit corporations are non-profits too (when they keep the sluts in line) my friend!

Per SCOTUSblog via Balloon Juice. The Supreme Court was sent into a tizzy by the thought of women exercising control over their bodies, and in its panic, ran head first into a wall.

Think I'm kidding? Well how else do you explain this?

The Court says that RFRA requires the Govt to provide closely-held corporate objectors the same accommodation it already provides nonprofit organization objectors.

per the IRS:

Generally, a closely held corporation is a corporation that:

Has more than 50% of the value of its outstanding stock owned (directly or indirectly) by 5 or fewer individuals at any time during the last half of the tax year; and
Is not a personal service corporation.

Exactly.

In addition, the court specifically stated that the ruling did not apply to vaccinations (which are also covered under the preventive services benefit) or blood transfusions (which are not). No comment on whether a closely-held corporation can decide it doesn't want to cover STD or depression screening (which are both covered by the PSB).

Two things that are certain:

1. This clusterfuck of a ruling will ensure years of litigation because that's one of the hallmarks of a bad law.

2. The five male members of the S.C. are the real victims.

It is too hot for cleverosity

So I knicked this from M. Binder

Franz Ferdinand was assassinated 100 years ago today. it is one of Obama's earliest known distractions from Benghazi.
— Matt Binder (@MattBinder) June 29, 2014

Roiks! Ryborgs!

An Oklahoma politician who lost a primary on Tuesday plans to contest the results because he claims his rival is actually dead and is being represented by a body double. In a letter he posted on his website, District 3 congressional candidate Tim Murray wrote that "it is widely known Rep. Frank D. Lucas is no longer alive and has been displayed by a look alike."

Remember when we said things couldn't get weirder than birtherism? This is what happens when we say things can't get weirder:

Murray alleges that Lucas was killed during a 2011 trip to Ukraine when he was hanged by the neck in front of witnesses.

"I, Timothy Ray Murray, am a human, born in Oklahoma, and obtained and continue to fully meet the requirements to serve as U.S. Representative when honored to so," Murray wrote on his site. "I will never use a look alike to replace my (The Office's) message to you or to anyone else, as both the other Republican Challengers have."

So we should say it. A lot. If we play our cards right, the next Republican presidential candidate's concession speech will be a doozy.

MedPage Today and the baited vagina!!!

				Morning Break: Giant Vagina Rescue, Gluten-Free Craze
				June 23, 2014
				Health news and commentary from around the Web, gathered by the MedPage Today staff.

Happy Father's Day

Last year I wished a child-having friend Happy Motherfucker's Day.

He was not amused.

Telephone operator, you're my own stimulator

Worst. Prize. Ever. pic.twitter.com/PYrlr1umfM
— Andrew Kaczynski (@BuzzFeedAndrew) June 14, 2014

Also: Worst Use of Skype. Ever.

Brat gave a clear answer to the minimum wage question

A lot of people have accused David the Fake Baked Bratwurst of not having an answer when Chuck Todd asked the Randolph-Macon econ. professor about the minimum wage. You don't need to read between the lines to see he clearly replied he's another corporate toadlicker who would sell his granny to the soap makers.

Here's the exchange, courtesy of Republicans & NeoCons:

Todd: Where are you on the minimum wage? Do you believe in it and would you raise it?

Brat: Minimum wage, I’m a free market guy. Our labor markets right now are already distorted from too many regulations. I think Cato estimates that 2 trillion dollars of regulatory problems and then throw Obamacare on top of that. The work hours is thirty a week….There’s just distortion after distortion and we wonder why out labor markets are broken.

Todd: Should there be a minimum wage in your opinion?

Brat: Ummm…I, I…I don’t have a well crafted responses on that one. All I know is if you take the long run graph over two hundred years of the wage rate, it can not differ from your nation’s productivity so you can’t make up wage rates, right. I would love to for everyone…in Africa for example. all the children of God to make a hundred dollars an hour, right > I would love just to assert that would be the case, but you can’t assert that unless you raise the productivity and then the wage follows…

Todd: It sounds like you’re making the case against a federally mandated minimum wage.

Brat: I’m just making the case I’ve just made, You can’t artificially make up wage rates, they have to be related to productivity.

Obviously the man replied that he's a mendacious cockscab who thinks the Invisible Hand is tied by too many regulations and Obamacare. He doesn't believe the lazy people who are only working 30 hours a week should get a raise unless they work hard enough to satisfy the Free Market. But he'll throw in something about God's Children Africa because that'll appease the blahs and white guilt liberals and everyone will admire his Can Tan.

I don't know enough U.S. productivity to say where it stands in relation to productivity and wages 200 years ago and whether current productivity supports an increase in the minimum wage, but based on the rest of his answer, I'm going to assume that's a big fucking lie as well.

But what about that 30 hour work week? Here I think this polecat's ass might actually have been trying to be cute. He could have pulled this number out of the place he keeps his emergency bottle of AquaNet, but it is far more likely he's ignoring the fact that many employers are cutting hours to part-time so not only do they they not have to give employees any sort of benefits, but people are forced to get a second part-time job to survive.

I guess one good thing about this win is he'll have less time to spew bullshit over helpless college students at Randolph-Macon. However, I think it would be better if he spent a few months reminding everyone that the Republican Party : Good Governance :: Kinko the Kid Loving Clown is to Mary Poppins and then lost to fellow R-M econ. professor Jack Trammel.

But I'm sorry, I can't stop laughing at the comment about Africa. How many synapses had to misfire to make him mention a continent on the other damn side of the planet in the discussion about the U.S. minimum wage?

Paper fortune teller of laughter

Taking the piss out of ammosexuals.

There's nothing not funny here. The funniness increases with each reading. If you handed this over to Things Cut in Half it would have crystallized laughter all the way through.

And by following the links you may achieve the state of Loud Helpless Sputtering While at Work, which is sort of like enlightenment only not at all.

@crushingbort @robwhisman @icpchad cnn has picked up the story pic.twitter.com/tXraBgcf1w
— L Ǝ O И (@leyawn) June 11, 2014

(Other possible states of being include Housemate/Spouse Looking Giving You A LOOK and Cat Putting One Ear Back to Indicate It is Aware You are Dumb.)

Well, you fucked that up too, didn't you?

Jerad Miller said he wanted to talk to reporters so people "can see we’re not just inbred, gun happy, trigger-pulling people."

I will, however, assume his parents weren't closely related.

The entire report on an A-J interview of Miller while he was at the Bundy Ranch must be seen.

Who's next on the GOP Enemies List

I predict doctors, particularly female doctors will soon be tarred as America hating baby eaters who want the terrorists to win. Why?

Bitch didn't give them money.

Between the 1991 to 1992 and the 2011 to 2012 election cycles, physician campaign contributions increased from $20 million to $189 million, and the percentage of active physicians contributing increased from 2.6% to 9.4%. Of physicians who contributed during the study period, the mean percentage contributing to Republicans was 57% for men and 31% for women. 

Also, despite all of the GOP's claims that only they could protect doctors and doctors would suffer horribly if Democrats were elected and promises to make everything perfect forever via tort reform and the millions of dollars they spent telling everyone Obamacare was the single biggest threat to doctors, doctors have instead considered those monstrosities called "evidence," "facts" and "reality," and started to shift away from the GOP.

Since 1996, the percentage of physicians contributing to Republicans has decreased, to less than 50% in the 2007 to 2008 election cycle and again in the 2011 to 2012 election cycle.

This despite the screeching about Obamacare through two election cycles. It is almost as if the GOP still doesn't know what the fuck people actually want and instead acts on what it thinks they want, which is remarkably close to what the GOP wants them to want because that would bring more profit for the large businesses that give so much to the GOP.  

One other thing I thought interesting, it is has long been a given that doctors are overwhelmingly Republican. I've never thought this was true, but even when they were more Republican, man were they tight with their cash.

So remember folks, the next time you're sick, don't go to a doctor. Especially a lady one. They're evil and will probably send you to a FEMA Death Camp. Instead look for a HealthyU Care Center, a Koch Brother's venture that uses untrained people who are paid the minimum wage to provide bandages and aspirin to the afflicted for just dollars on the penny!

(Apologies if there is in fact a HealthyU Care Center, even though that is an awful name.)

Events I am sorry I missed - Legs n' Mixers

I admit I do get a laugh out of people doing dumb stuff. Not fall down so hard your nose pops out the back of your head dumb stuff. Just benign, human equivalent of DerpyCats stuff.

I got a moment of "Uh?" and a giggle out of this picture, but I'm sorry I wasn't there for the photo shoot\, because I would have been snorfling in a corner.

I'd also, just for my own curiosity's sake, like to know if they put the mixer on a low table or the model on a chair.